How do we find our purpose? How are we supposed to know what we are meant to be doing? I used to ask myself, a question that would make me crazy. You know when you have some deep desire that you know there is more to life, but you don’t know what it is?
I remember I used to use “being lost” and “not knowing” what I came here to do as an excuse. I was too afraid to go after what I really wanted because I didn’t believe I was good enough, or I deserved it. I was scared to put it out there, “what if I fail?”
I’d just spent 3 years in University, doing something I didn’t want to do and it got me so frustrated. After Uni, that job didn’t work out and I was in acting classes for fun, but I was even ruining that for myself, because when it came down to being in front of the camera, I would get so nervous, no matter how much I would practice.
What is wrong with me?!
I was paralyzed in fear. All my decisions were fear based. I wasn’t enjoying anything. I couldn’t understand my own mind, I felt out of control. I went to Uni out of fear, I joined the acting school to escape myself.
I was constantly searching, being nice, good, getting others approval, listening to what my friends thought. Listening to everyone but myself. I was settling for relationships that were causing me so much pain and I was putting my own fate into other peoples hands. Everything was going wrong and I didn’t know why.
It got to a point where I was willing to make everyone else happy apart from myself, and inside I was deeply suffering.
I thought I didn’t know what I wanted to do even though all I wanted was to put all my heart and soul into something, but I thought I didn’t know what because I didn’t think I was good at anything. Because I hadn’t listened to what I wanted to do, and listened to what other people advised would be the right thing. Which lead me to think I needed to go and “find” my purpose. We already are our purpose and rather listening to what people tell us what is possible, and tune into ourselves, we are able to bring that desire forth.
Just to be here is a blessing, don’t suffer wondering whether you are good enough. Develop that belief within you that you know you can do anything you put your mind to and have that inner peace with being ok to fail.
So I moved halfway across the world not really knowing much about life to go and find this “purpose” of mine. I think I thought that I had to suffer in life until I found it. Like as though it would just appear one day at my door like, hello, I’m your purpose nice to finally meet you.
Some of my favorite breakthroughs:
Let go, embrace where you are.
When you let go and start to embrace where you are, that’s when miracles start to happen and you can tune into yourself. You don’t need to search, look or find.
Let go of anything that causes you to feel anxiety about where you are wishing you were somewhere else wondering what limiting belief is holding you back, make this moment the most important moment, because all we really have is this moment right now.
Rather than worrying about what you want or what will be the best thing, focus on the thing that will make you feel the best, that will bring you the most joy.
Every single person, situation, experience leads you to exactly where you are meant to be.
Instead of forcing a career we can become the star in our own life now and make it special where we are giving our all to this moment.
Instead of feeling, we are behind or resenting our job because we think we should be further ahead, using it as a practice to give love and climb naturally.
Sometimes on the way to the journey, you get lost and find a better one.
I remember when I was in so much pain because I just wanted to put all my passion into something and I had nothing to put it into. I was so angry that I had moved across the world and everything didn’t go perfectly straight away and that I wasn’t some kind of artist, that’s because I was in a rush, too busy searching for something rather than embracing.
When I surrendered, I accepted this situation. I used my long journey to work to study, I practiced being present with every customer, I got to know everyone around me, me and my roommate became like sisters and I began building my confidence by talking to strangers and being an interest, I started being grateful to even have a job and to simply be alive. I felt inspired to take acting classes for no more reason than the point of it would make me feel good. Which lead me to some of my dreams coming true, such as landing lead roles in films that were shown across all cinemas in the UAE, travel the world doing what brings me the most joy, working with incredible brands like HSBC and VISA and more and not just that but help others too whenever I can. I ended up writing my book because it inspired me during my darkest times, even though I never thought I would become an author. No one is more special than anyone else, but when you do something that can bring you the most joy, thats when you really embrace who you really are and guess what, there is no one else who is the exact same as you in the world!
I don’t know if this blog makes much sense, but what I’m really trying to say is, if you feel lost, don’t worry about it. It’s a good sign you are on the right track. When nothing is certain, anything is possible. You don’t need to look and find or search for anything. You are good enough as you are and your purpose is you, all you have to do is embrace where you are and allow inspiration to flow through you and do small things that bring you joy because when you are happy, that’s how you make others happy and you can make a difference to those around you. It’s not our job to know how everything will work out, just be ready to be used for a good greater than ourselves. xox
Don’t stress about what happened yesterday, or what will happen in the future, just focus on right now and breathe, each moment is a chance to start again.
Let me know your thoughts, I want to give my book away to those who share their experiences and stories on my Blog
Thank you to every person I encountered in Dubai, just because we are not in the same country does not mean you are not in my heart.
It’s the little steps that count ♥